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morning sucks
It is 6 am,it's cold outside, it's still dark and can someone please explain to me why the fuck children have to be at school at 7 am??????This helps noone. Layne doesn't even become human before noon...
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4th dumbest state in the union
Before I start, let me say that I know my kid is bright. Good grades are expected of him. He gets nervous if he smells a B near his report card. That said, I live in Nevada, which is 47 out of 50 in...
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The King of Comedy
I was just starting out as a comic when my friend Jonathon Solomon and I went to see Richard Pryor's first concert film in Times Square NYC. We were the only white and jewish people there. But no...
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Welcome to the Real World
This past year I was consumed by the campaign of Barack Obama. I so wanted him to win the election I would start the day off on Politico.com checking the polls and electoral college map. By the time...
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Seventeen years ago on February 17
I gave birth to a baby boy. To this day I cannot tell you how blindsided I was by the emotion I was feeling. I never knew the depth of love until my son. That said, he is 17 , 6'3" with an serious...
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Welcome to National Mom
Awhile back I was ranting about how politicians just keep arguing. They never want to solve anything, each side just WANTS TO BE RIGHT. And I realized both sides need to be put in TIME OUT. They are...
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Article 16
I'm sitting in the Sheraton Hartford as I wait for night to fall so I can do my comedy thing. This morning I had breakfast in the restaurant with about 30 college hockey players. All young, all robust...
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Finally here
I wasn't sure how I was gonna fare being in a plane for 12 hours. As a New Yorker I must GO GO GO. We left an hour late and while up in the air someone passed out after ten hours 2 rows behind us. So...
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Day one Iraq
So we get to the airbase to take a C-130 at around 9. We then proceed to wait....for 3 hours. There's alot of waiting in the military. We finally get to board, there isn't enough room on the plane so I...
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Day 2
NOW it gets interesting. We leave to board our first blackhawk which was also 3 hours late. Gives new meaning to 3 hour tour. Our first stop was a foward operating base which means they are the ones...
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And we're done
Funny how ten days away can change your perspective. My feelings going over to perform for the troops was excitement but in the back of my head I knew what the risks were. The tour started us off easy,...
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He's a man, baby
Most of my closest friends expected me to be in a puddle today as my only son turns 18. I have a tendency to cry at the drop of a hallmark commercial when it comes to Layne. Surprisingly I'm ok with...
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A Liberal's View of War
Let me start by saying yes I am against war, ANY war. I am a mother. I certainly don't want MY son in harm's way nor anyone else's for that matter, regardless of what god they believe in. That said,...
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Haiti and the Cheerleaders
So I get a request for comedians for a quick 3 day trip to Haiti to perform for the guys and gals who've been done there since the earthquake in January. I grab my trusty partner in comedy crime...
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Oh British Petroleum...shame on you
As National Mom, one of the most frustrating things is watching people running away from their responsibilities. When as a nation did it become okay to do something bad and get away with it? Oh yeah,...
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SATURDAY IN TUCSON
When I launched National Mom in 2010, I was hoping to raise awareness to the constant bickering that seemed to be going on in our fine country. "Everyone is right, no one is to blame, I'll just yell...
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COOL MA
When my son was younger I would do anything to make him happy. It was my life's mission to prove how cool a mom I was. I'm not sure why I had this need, but every year it seemed to be more urgent. I...
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National Mom: Just Like my Dad!
Growing up my father was larger than life. He spoke loud, he drank loud. He did his entire life loud. By trade my dad was a teacher, during the summer vacations he worked as a bartender in the Catskill...
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Happy Mothers Day
I was not the type of woman that grew up wanting children. I was a child of the 70's feminist movement. I knew I could have it ALL but mostly I just wanted a career. When and IF I had a child it was...
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So Long 2011 and Good Riddance! By Carole Montgomery AKA NationalMOM
It’s almost New Year’s and it’s been a challenging year to say the least. Newyear’s eve is the night we are so hopeful, so full of not knowing what is going to kick our ass in the coming year. And then...
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And now he's 20
I have always blogged about my son's birthdays. Something about the passing of another year with him makes me reevaluate my own life. Fuck New Years, here's when I reassess. I have a child now who is...
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This is for the new moms
Ah yes, it's Mother's Day soon. I myself am not a big fan of the holiday. Why one day? With the amount of shit mothers do EVERY DAY we should be put on a pedestal and carried around forever. But I...
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He's leaving home
Just yesterday I gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. 8lbs 7 oz. 22 inches long all his fingers and toes. A beautiful healthy baby. Holy shit did he blindside me. I never thought I could love anything...
View ArticleAging out of My Career originally posted at Huffington Post 50
I have been a standup comedian since the fall of 1980. Back then, it was a novelty to be one. Hell, no one really understood what a standup comic was. And the only women hugely successful at that time...
View ArticleThe 7 Words my Son Said That Broke My Heart
Just yesterday, I gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. He was 8 lbs 7 oz. 22 inches long and with all his fingers and toes. A beautiful, healthy baby. Holy sh*t, did he blindside me. I never thought I...
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